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HOMESICK

"Never show them your tears."
My mother told me, "This is why I'm worried."
Leaving while I dry my eyes,
I am a fool with legs,
Bright like the surface of a rock.
The teacher takes that light from my empty hands,
and the other children giggle.

Behind the arms of a star
They play in a garden, sunny and warm.
But I stay here, like my mother said...
There's an aquarium below the window.
Some red fish swim around and come back -
And when they swim,
They're just following their reflections.

I touch the water with a finger, and then another.
They're reflected there, glittering and never still.
My eyes are drying.
The water covers my body,
My eyelids close over my eyes.
I breathe, and breathe, and breathe.

Translated from the original poem, "Homesick", by Salli Shepherd (salshep)
©2007-2009 ~RagingGryphon
:iconraginggryphon:

Author's Comments

Translated from the original poem, "Homesick", by Salli Shepherd (salshep)

I took a lot of liberties with the translation to try and keep what I felt was the spirit of the poem intact, while still translating it as literally as possible.

Notes:
I changed some of the punctuation because I felt that that was the message attempting to be conveyed, i.e. quotation marks in lines 1 and 2.

"chuchoter" is "to whisper", but I thought that it kind of had like a little-kid, making comments, so it became "giggle". (ln 7)

Line 8 didn't make much sense; I had two options to go with this but I also felt that I wasn't necessarily getting the imagery so I left it literally translated.

Line 10 got an ellipses at the end of the line.

Line 16, the word "émouvant" means moving, but I liked how "never still" sounded in the line, because it kind of gave a better nuance than "moving".

Those were really the biggest changes.

:icontranslationchain: is where it's at. Learn what this thing is all about.

Previous translation courtesy of ~Hongske .

Comments


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:icontranslationchain:
Thankyou so much for participating! :hug: Glad you enjoyed it. :)
:iconlouveteau:
Actually, "émouvant" doesn't mean moving at all. It has the same root, but not the same meaning.
"Emouvant" means that it's touching, emotionaly speaking, it makes you feel something very deep... It makes move your feelings, if you want ;)
But that's not litteraly moving ^^
:iconraginggryphon:
Someone needs to write that in my dictionary ¬.¬; now I feel like a complete tool haha thanks for that though

--
La fleur qui est rouge est jolie,
La fleur qui est rose est belle.
Mais la fleur qui est toi -
C'est la mieux belle de tout.

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November 15, 2007
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